Sunday, December 30, 2007

Get Your Shit Together

Have you been a good kid this year?

This is always a good time to make sure you've fulfilled your yearly charitable giving quota.

Have you remembered to donate to your favorite organization in 2007?

Here's mine.
What's yours?

Saturday, December 29, 2007

A Multitasker's Dream Come True


Never again do you say to yourself: "Shoot! I've only got 5 minutes. Do I eat, or do I do my hair?"

Friday, December 21, 2007

I Know How to End the Writers Strike!

Show this to everyone in the AMPTP.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I went to the Museum of Natural History today. We were standing in front of a few human skeletons when a little girl ran in and said to her sister, "These must be the pirates!"

Sunday, December 9, 2007

The Only Reason the South May Rise Again

I don't cook. And I certainly don't blog about recipes. But my ex boyfriend used to make this cornbread stuffing that it so yummy you will want to shoot your face off...in a good way.

I made it last year at a pre-Thanksgiving meal with friends.
And if I can make it, so can you.

Anyway, I asked him to send me the recipe again because I always lose it. And now I'm sharing it with everyone in the world.

Here it is:

"Make a big batch of Jiffy corn bread (boxes of mix,eggs,milk). Then when its baked, you crumble it up into a bowl and mix it with cream of chicken soup and poultry seasoning (that's the secret). And some chopped onion. Some people add celery but not me. That mix then goes into a pan for baking. BOOM!!!

I use a lot of McCormicks poultry seasoning. Because I'm the best.

Anyone who uses this recipe will achieve all their dreams!!"

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Bright Idea

I have decided that with every Christmas gift I give this year, I am including an energy saving light bulb.

Here's a fact:
"If every American home replaced just one light bulb with an ENERGY STAR qualified bulb, we would save more than $600 million in annual energy costs, and PREVENT GREENHOUSE GASES EQUIVALENT TO THE EMISSIONS OF MORE THAN 800,000 CARS."

Whatever your opinions are, I'm pretty sure this is a simple switch that we all can agree is a good move.

Please try to switch at least ONE bulb in your house to a compact fluorescent bulb.

Thanks!

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Too Literal

I had a cab driver the other day say to me, "I can't take Houston Street because there is construction like there's no tomorrow."

And, I really wanted to say, "If there's no tomorrow, then what's all the construction for?"

History 101


This ad for a GPS says "BEHIND EVERY GREAT EXPLORER IS A GREAT NAVIGATOR."
That'd be a great slogan if this were a picture of an explorer.
But, this is a picture of General George Washington crossing the Delaware River on Christmas to surprise attack the hired Hessian soldiers during the Revolutionary War.
Most of us learned that in the 4th grade.
Except for the ad execs behind this ad, I guess.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Flawed Logic?

I have long held the unproven belief that it is better to date a boy with a sister than one without a sister.

My friend Sean told me that I once said to him,
"If I had the choice between you, and a much lesser version of you with a sister, I would choose the lesser version."

I don't remember saying that, but I think it's a great fucking line.