Wednesday, February 27, 2008

All Starbucks Are Closing for Three Hours!

Holy shit.

I. Am. FREAKING OUT.

I am freaking THE FUCK out!!!!!! Open the door, baristas! I see you in there, practicing your syrup pumps and your foam pours. OPEN THE DOOR! I NEED A LATTE!

I know you can hear me, coffee people! I know you can hear me banging on this door even through the Paul McCartney and Sia I'm sure you are blaring inside the store....LET ME IN!

Excuse me, m'am? Yes, you! Passing me on the sidewalk...Come here. Give me your baby. GIVE ME YOUR BABY!

HEY!!!! BARISTAS!!! You see this baby? You want him to live???

What, lady? O, Sorry....You want HER to live? Then OPEN THE DOOR! I WANT MY GODDAMN LATTE!

OPEN THE DOooooooooor! (weeping) OPEN the dooooooooooooooooooooooor........

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Good thing I didn't read that Seattle times article until after the fact. GOOD THING.

4 comments:

paserby said...

that baby had it coming.

Anonymous said...

Coffee is the work of the Devil.

Uilleam said...

Might I suggest decaf?

Anonymous said...

on second thought, stay away from the cocaine for your hiccups. I don't want you at my door @ 3a.m.