Saturday, February 9, 2008

Sliding Scale Of How Much I Liked My Cab Driver in Vegas

I see that he is a sweet-looking old man. 10 points.

He has an adorable accent. Plus 2 points.

He says, “Who will be the next President?”
He’s interested in politics. Plus 10 points.

He says, “Oh, you know about them?” when I speak about the candidates.
Perhaps he assumed I looked unintelligent? Minus 5 points.

He says, “I like New York.” Plus 5 points.

He says, “I am from Zurich.”
I used to live in Switzerland. Plus 3 points.

He says, “I don’t trust McCain.”
Maybe he’s a Democrat? Plus 5 points.

He says, “If the black one gets in, he may have to repaint the White House black.”
What? I think this was a racist comment, but honestly, I have no idea what he was trying to say. On the assumption that it was racist, minus 10,000 points!

He says, “I used to be in the Ice Capades.”
Plus 100 points.

He says, “I used to own 2 chimpanzees.”
OMG. Plus 500 points.

He says, “I taught the chimps how to ice skate. They did back flips and the big one would spin the little one. They were good. Now they live in the zoo. I visit them 3 times a week.”
PLUS ONE MILLION POINTS.

4 comments:

BCA said...

you forgot:

But he left all that to drive cab for a living.

Minus 1000 points (and minus unknown number of years off his life).

alpha123 said...

I like how training chimpanzees to ice skate totally made up for being racist! He even has leftover points for a few more racist comments!

Anonymous said...

LOL, I found this funny.

(Mike)

CreoleInDC said...

I'm watching you on VH1 this morning and I was on the fence because you seem too pretty to be funny so I googled you. Um...you're HILARIOUS! LOL!