Sunday, April 27, 2008

Survival

Ladies, I have figured out how to get out of any life-threatening torture situation.


Waterboarding:
"Please stop waterboarding me, dude. C'mon, I'll show you a boob."


Straightjacket:
"I need to move my arms to give a handjob."


Starvation:
"Thank you. You're just making me look FANTASTIC."

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Since when do you have boobs?

Anonymous said...

you seem to have a facination with giving hand jobs as well. what gives?

j said...

Handjobs are lame. Put your mouth on it, help 'em out.

Anonymous said...

you should eat some more, you look like a boney 14 year old boy

Chris said...

Your Gorgeous & Funny. This person who talks a lot of shit post anonymous because he is a little bitch.

Anonymous said...

chris, you have no chance, so give it up. and it's "you're", not "your", and "posts anonymously" not "post anonymous".

Heather said...

So...what does making out with a girl save you from? Quick, I need a good excuse.

RedoubtableUsername said...

Tarring and Feathering:

"I've got a better idea, dude: How about 'Lubing and Feathering'?"

thursday31190 said...

thats kinda creepy, you freak! lubing and feathering pssh, get your kinky ass outta here!

kate said...

I am a fan of yours and think you're such a cute girl, but I just looked at recent pictures of you and you look like you've lost way too much weight! So many bones are sticking out of your chest, it doesn't look good! Please get back to being healthy, you look so much better that way, truly.

Duke said...

I'm constantly amazed that people take the time to come to this blog, read what Alison has written, and then take the time to criticize her. You people should get jobs, or volunteer to help the poor or something. You're wasting your lives.